English 1050

In this class, I have learned about every genre of writing I can think of. I had never read a full comic all the way through before this class. I had only read Bazooka Bubblegum comics. I now have a background knowledge of many writing styles and techniques. I have written many different genres myself, as well as read them. I am turning in today a fictional research essay, my final essay. This essay is on Woodstock, and though I spent much time on it, I know I forgot many things. I only have 14 endnotes and 20 are needed for full credit. I did not do a writer's response and I only have 2 sources. I don't even know how many sources are needed. English has always been m favorite subject in school, and still, it is the easiest subject for me to procrastinate in. I still need to work on that. I have enjoyed this class while it lasted, and I am on to bigger kid English now since I switched my major to English secondary education. See ya freshmen English!

Latin

My final project in Latin was to write a one hundred word story in Latin. It could be about anything. 100 words about anything? Sounds pretty simple, right? No. It was very difficult for me and I didn't get any help on it like everyone else in my class did. Everyone else has friends in the class, and since I'm a loser, that didn't happen! :) So, it was hard for me. It look so long. BUT I'm done and I turned it in earlier. I am so happy to get it done. Now on to all of my other homework, but first-American Beauty with Michelle and Toast. Yes.

Work Day

I feel like I do not have much to write about today, because today was a work day in class. Teach brought us cookies! I've been researching Woodstock all hour, so I naturally feel chilled out. I have no idea what's going on. They were all naked, all the time. I don't think I could do that, even if it were in an environment where everyone was naked and it didn't matter. My old best friend, Hailee, her family talked about moving to a nudist camp. That's awesome. It sounds weird to say that, but they're not weird. They're actually really cool, and it wasn't weird to hear them talk about it the first time. This next week is going to be HECTIC. I need to add way too much stuff to my to-do list. I also need to learn how to cite sources correctly. I suck at that. Kevin will be here soon!

Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving was a great one, but could have been better. This Thanksgiving was my first Thanksgiving without my dad. Thinking about this was hard for me all day, but I had a lot of fun regardless. I had two Thanksgivings this year. First, I ate with my man's family at his house, and then I ate at my house with my family. At Kevin's house, we ate with his parents, his aunt, and his grandma. The green bean casserole was amazing. I want more. After eating at Kevin's, Kevin and I went to my house and ate again. At my house, we ate with my mom, my brother, his girlfriend Ashley, and my mom's friend Dave. Kevin and I both ate so much food that day, but it was so good to care. Everyone gains a few on Thanksgiving and everyone's okay with it. Thanksgiving is great, but it will never be as good as when I could spend it with both my mom and my dad.

Harry Potter

My man and I went to see Harry Potter together last night. It was fantastic. The best one by far. It was so intense! I bet for anyone who saw it/will see it in the imax will flip out. I should have seen it in the imax, I haven't seen a movie there since the last Harry Potter. And that one was great, too. But I don't think any of the other Harry Potter movies compares to this one. The ending of the movie was so abrupt and perfect. I can't wait for part 2. I need to read all of the books. And so does my man. We have decided that as soon as he moves here (next month) we will read all of the books together. Too bad this won't possibly get accomplished by the time the 2nd movie comes to theaters, but it will be awesome regardless. I'm so pumped!

Rain/Latin

Today is pretty gross and gloomy out, but I still don't understand why everyone is complaining about it as much as they are. Yeah, it's ugly and depressing outside, but at least it's not snowing. Everyone loves the snow. I used to, but now I only correlate it to the cold. I can't handle the cold anymore. The cold is what is depressing, not the rain. Rain is good! And it's so warm outside, too. It's not even bad. On the other hand, I have a Latin test tomorrow. I am not excited. I have to study my ass off for the rest of the night, but right now I must nap. I plan on napping for hours, and then studying. Off to do work.

In class.

Today in class we discussed our research narratives that we are finally starting to write. Siting all of our groups sources was a pain. It sucked, actually. I hate siting sources, and I think that's because I don't understand how to do it. We also answered questions, as always, on a new thing we had to read for homework. This time, we read a comic called In the Shadow of No Towers, and it was a very chaotic comic. There was a lot going on in it, and I couldn't tell what the author's tone was throughout the piece. I thought he was racist in some parts of the comic, but in others, I only thought he was angry. We also all scheduled appointments to go meet with the teacher to discuss our papers so far. I think. We have to bring our one page, double spaced, outline/draft to this meeting, but I don't know what this meeting is for yet. I am so terrible with getting motivation to outline everything I am doing for a project. My best way to get things done is to just do it, then go back and edit and revise.

Writing

I think I should catch up on writing. I used to write every day, all day long. I do not write as much anymore. I feel as though I only write things that are school-related now. I used to write poetry all the time. I also used to write in a journal everyday. Where did all of those journals go? I know where my most recent journal is, even though I had only written in the first half of it. It kind of sucks. I switched my major. I am now going into English and I feel like my English skills are getting worse and worse. I now have more to write about than ever, but I now also have the least amount of motivation to write it. I need self-motivation and to get everything together. I think I'll start writing again tonight. A novel.

School.

I have just decided to switch my major from Philosophy to Communications of some sort the day before I sign up for my second semester classes. I think this is a better choice for me, because I want to be a teeacher. I am not sure if I would want to teach at a high school level or a college level yet, but I really want to try out communications while I am still just starting off school. If i want to teach at a high school level, though, I was told by my advisor that I need a 'teachable' major, and I could probably minor in communications or something. 'Teachable'? Like.. English? History? Uh. I'm thinking I'll probably have to get my teaching certificate and figure it out from there.I'm flipping out. Sign up for classes TOMORROW. Give me a break. I'm just a tiny freshmen.

Woodstock

Historical Event: Woodstock

Whose Point of View?: I am a 23 year old female sneaking in to Woodstock to save money. I am from all over, but my hometown is BLANK, BLANK. I travel, and live in different states with different family members or friends. I consider myself a groupie and I am in love with the band BLANK.

What do you know already?: I know that Woodstock was a music festival in 1969 and it paved the way for all modern music festivals. Many people snuck in and did not pay for the festival.

What do you still need to find out?: How many people attended Woodstock? How many bands? What drama between bands, if any, occurred? What events went on at Woodstock, besides music?

Saw Seven

This weekend, Saw 7 in 3D came to theaters. I HAD to go see it this weekend, because I am a freak for the Saw movies. Last year, on October 30, Saw 6 was in theaters, and this was the day that my boyfriend, Kevin, and I met. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings and went to see Saw 6 together. This year, Saw 7 came out on the same weekend, so we celebrated our "year since we've met" and re-did our date from a year ago. It was awesome. We were going to go to Buffalo Wild Wings like last year before the movie, but we didn't have time. That was fine, though, because I love coney islands. I know Kevin was disappointed that we couldn't go to Buffalo Wild Wings, though, especially because he was looking so nice in his suit. But we're diner geeks, so it turned out great anyway. And so did the movie! It was awesome. I know that Saw only made a contract to make 7 movies, but they'd BETTER make another. Don't leave me hanging on Saw 7. Tooooo good :)

American Beauty

Thesis: The color red in American Beauty represents the life of Kevin Spacey's character, Lester Burnham.

Reason One: When Lester's wife is cutting red roses at the beginning of the movie, he talks about their unhappiness together, so it's as if she is ruining their lives together.

Reason Two: The red rose pedals are represented as life when Lester sees Angela. He can't directly get to her, because it is only a fantasy, but his fantasies have become life for him, and they are what have changed his life to get motivation to start working out.

Reason Three: When Burnham's life starts to change because of hi fantasies about Angela, he buy a bright red hot rod car that he has always wanted. This represents another change in his life that will cause a bigger distance with his fight.

Conclusion: The color red in American Beauty represents the life of Kevin Spacey's character, Lester Burnham.

Dark Places by Steve Dismukes Outline

Question: Who are the two main characters?

Thesis: I think the main characters are best friends and they are on a journey together to fight evil werewolves.

Reason One: The main characters are best friends, because the first main character told the second main character that he can take on the werewolves himself and the first main character asks the other guy to go upstairs so he doesn't get hurt. (Expand)

Reason Two: They are on a journey together, because they are both wearing knight uniforms, as if they knew they were about to fight evil werewolves. (Expand)

Reason Three: The two main characters are fighting evil werewolves because the beasts look exactly like evil werewolves. (Expand)

Conclusion: Thesis and add something (thought?)

Consumption and Pollution

Will we all eventually live on top of a giant landfill? Will we all eventually die of some sort of cancer? Will 'old age' eventually not be a cause of death? We, as humans, strive for more-clothes, television, pleasing images, food, and entertainment. Our bodies are never good enough. Young girls, mostly, are reading and looking through magazines like Seventeen, Cosmopolitan, and Elle. Young girls' are feeling terrible about themselves, thinking they are ugly, fat, and pale because of these 'beautiful' girls in magazines. We need to stop this! You should not have to look a certain way to be an advertisement. Different looking people attract to differrent people. Everyone has a different type. Let's stop with pollution, wanting too much, and beauty magazines. Listen to The Sunscreen Song by Baz Luhrmann.

My New Tattoo

On Thursday of last week, I got a new tattoo. This is a beautiful one to m and it means so much to me, just as my other two do. It is in the middle of the top of my back. It is my first colored tattoo and it is a balancing scale. Above the scale, in cursive, it says "An Attempt to Tip the Scales," which is a lyric that means a lot to me. I don't like to tell about the meanings behind my tattoos, and I don't like when people tell me theirs. I like tattoos to be for me. They're on my body and they are personal to me. Everyone can see them and I will tell what they mean in general, but I won't tell why I have them specifically or what they mean to me. I love my new tattoo, though. It is a black, burnt orange, and a dark brown. The colors came out perfectly and this Vitamin E cream for the tattoo works wonders, too. I am so happy with it, I want another one now!

Chalk Up That Memoir

Today was a sort of work day in class. I worked on my memoir, which is chalking up pretty well in my opinion. I'm having a really difficult time giving my main characters good descriptions. I have a couple of them down, but one of them is completely bombed. I also want to change my opening and closing paragraphs, but I don't know if I will. I like them and I don't know if they should be changed, but they sound pretty cliche to me. I also want to add to the second to last paragraph, as I leave Vince's houses. I feel as though it should be more intense. So, I also have genre transformations to do. I'm going to go get on that now.

TV ASIA

Right now my roommate, Michelle, and I are watching TV ASIA. There is this show on that is the funniest thing I have ever seen. It is a soap opera and extremely dramatic. The background music make this the cheesiest show ever and the acting is horrible. The camera angles are in your face and quickly paced. Some parts of the show are in slow motion. They are talking in a different language, so I don't know exactly what they are saying, but I get the just of what is going on. Sister rivalries and some sort of love story. I think one of the sister's boyfriends is going to war or something of that sort and he is trying to fight a bad guy. I am confused. All I know is that this show is really entertaining to be immature while watching it.

Rough Draft

A Simple White Line.

I have lost all independence. I live in a world of critics and sinister smiles. A world where
stupidity is cool. A world where brains are overrated. I live in a world of dependence to
words, actions, thoughts, and images. A world of absent feelings.

"Get in here, Sam, it’s cold out," Vince called to me as I waited outside of my busted,
puke green, ’96 Lumina for the awkwardness to fade just a little more. I wasn’t positive
which house was Vince’s, so I was feeling a bit more comfortable now. I walked through
the long grass in his front yard to the side door. The door was rusted and broken and
looked as if it had never been closed from the way the small fingerprints on the glass
were positioned. The first thing I thought of when I walked through the door was how
repulsive the sticky beer stains on the family room carpet were. I followed Vince into the
kitchen where everyone was playing poker. Vince, Allen, and Landon were crowding
around the table as I stumbled in, and they stared making fun of my favorite band as they
always do while I’m around.

"Dave Matthews is the worst," Landon said to me. "And your face is red as hell."

"Thanks for noticing; so are all of yours," I replied. I took a small glass from the table and
wasted it. I grabbed another one. Allen offered me the seat right next to him and I
stumbled onto it as it kept rolling away from me across the tile.

"Hi Allen," I said seductively, but sarcastically. I wasted the glass.

"Hey, Sam. You know I love Dave. Want to listen to him with me downstairs? I have a
lot of his music," Allen attempted, ready to jump out of his seat.

As I answered Allen’s subtly hinting question with a no, Vince’s mom walks in the room
with a cigarette in her left hand and her child on her right hip.

"This is my last cigarette, Vince; please give me one. I’ll buy you more later," she
whined. Her hair was long, blonde, dirty, and faded. Her mascara had circled around the
circles already on her eyes and she seemed to be leaning to the left more than what looked
normal.

Vince and his mom shared a cigarette as Landon showed himself downstairs. Allen and I
followed Landon into the darkness of the basement. The walls leading down the once
white tile stairs were yellow and there were old plastic bottles and tin foil all over the
floor and on every table. "Might as well recycle, right?" Landon suggested.

"Obviously. What else would we do?" I said as I gestured to the lighter on the floor that
Allen had been looking for. Vince slowly walked down the stairs to his room and sat on
his bed, facing me. Allen lit a cigarette as Landon picked up the recycling from the floor
and got it ready to go. I must have dosed off for a minute, because the next thing I knew,
the fire from the recycling was being pushed into my mouth. I didn’t hesitate.

"You okay there, Sam?" Landon and Allen laughed as they knelt next to the side of the
bed. I didn’t sit up on the bed as I kept inhaling; I stayed lying down.

Within an hour, I saw the room spinning, but I couldn’t concentrate on it. The walls were
changing shapes and sizes from tiny circles to huge triangles, but I couldn’t concentrate
on those either. I couldn’t remember how much recycling I had done today or how many
glasses I had put to waste. I kept telling myself, ‘This is what feeling good feels like.’

Vince laid next to me on top of the covers of his king size bed, and again, I didn’t
hesitate.

"Sam, come here," Allen said to me, not moving, from the couch on the other side of the
basement. I sat up, feeling dizzy and unorganized, and staggered over to Allen. I crouched
down by his feet and sat down. Landon followed.

"What’s up? I asked Allen, switching my eyesight from Allen to Landon.

"How are you feeling, Sam?" Landon asked, smirking at Allen.

"Fine. Why?" I asked.

"Have you ever watched Snow White?"

"What?" I asked.

"No. Have you ever been in a completely white-lit room?" Allen asks.

Landon laughs. There’s a pause.

"I’m not into that." I reply, backing away a little.

"No, really, Sam. It’s not even bad."

"It’s really smooth."

"It doesn’t even hurt your nose."

I was getting bombarded with all of these bullshit reasons. I couldn’t understand why they
would need to pressure and persuade me to do something if they truly believe its ‘not
even bad’. I started to feel dizzy. I felt a fever coming on and I was getting extremely
sweaty. My hands started sticking to the dusty pavement and my eyes began to narrow.
The room was spinning at 123 miles per hour and I could feel the chunks of food rising
up my throat to the back of my mouth. My mouth widened and my whole head bobbed
like a chicken as I was about to let it all out. I ran up the stairs, holding my mouth as if it
were the cure for an overdose. Into the bathroom, onto the floor, and into the toilet water I
went. My whole face dove in the cold water and I saw everything I had eaten from the
past couple days once again. I fell asleep hugging my new best friend.

Loud, obnoxious snoring and Lie in Our Graves by Dave Matthews Band were the first
things I heard when I woke up. It was 9 A.M. and I was in Vince’s bed, smushed between
him and Allen. I crept out of the bed, trying my hardest not to wake anyone up, and
stumbled over the old plastic bottles and tin foil. I sneaked up the stained stairs, passed
the yellow walls, and busted out the rusty door. I got into my beautiful car and I danced
away.

The only thing I lost was a couple people who were not worth a second of my time. My
morbid, morose, melancholy, moon of once absent feelings has now morphed into a
sincere, sensuous, simplistic sun. In the end, I gained independence.

On that February 12, 2010 Note.

I miss my dad. I've been thinking about him more than usual since I've moved here to Western. I wish he was there to see me graduate, help me move in, and help me with my homework. I miss sitting in Leon's, drawing history maps and diagrams on napkins, while borrowing our waitress' pen. I still have all those napkins. He was loved by everyone, and felt comfort everywhere he went. He always helped me with my homework. There was this one essay in high school that I was assigned on The War in Iraq, in my Political and Economic Systems class, that my dad helped me through every word. He didn't do it for me at all, but instead, taught me everything I needed to know about the subject. He was my online, book, magazine, newspaper, and adult resource. I thought this would get easier, but it doesn't. It's gotten much harder. Since February 12, 2010, John Berry has been missed.

"Lucky"

This story was absolutely repulsive, but I don't think I need to say that since everyone who reads this has read the story. I was very turned-off by how I felt toward the rapist after he was done raping her. I almost sympathized for him in a way. Not how you think, though! I just believe that any person that has such a terrible problem, just like pedophiles and murderers, need help. They know it's wrong, but there is something in their brain pushing them to do it. Don't get me wrong; blame the rapist. It just threw me off guard when he was being so sympathetic to Alice after he raped her. It was creepy and I don't understand why she would put that in her memoir. This story is extremely detailed, and that's why I think it was so gruesome to read. I had to take a break from it the first time I read it. It's intense.

We trade liquor for blood in an attempt to tip the scales.

There's this tattoo that I would like to get. I'd like to get a few, actually, but I think this shall be my next one. I want a large balance scale in a burnt orange, dark brown, and black. I want the scale in the center of my back, about in between my shoulder blades. Underneath the scale, I want the words "An Attempt to Tip The Scales" in cursive and I want those words to curve around the bottom of the scale. This tattoo has been on my mind for a long time now, and I think I'm finally ready to get it. An Attempt to Tip the Scales is a Bright Eyes lyric, and it has its own meaning to me. I don't like to share the meaning of my tattoos to many people, so let's leave it at that. Meaningful, thought out tattoos are beautiful.

September 15 Frustration

Today in class I realized how ridiculously stressed I am. Our class was handed about 4 or 5 different assignments today that are due Monday. None of these assignments are extremely hard or too lengthy, but I already have so much to do. So far, I love everything we have been assigned in this class, but I don't work too well while I'm stressed.
We talked about the pros and cons of texting today in class, and it was a really interesting topic. I think texting is too impersonal and it is ruining intimacy. I also think texting is very convenient when you are in a really quiet place where talking on the phone is inappropriate or a loud place, like a concert, when you need to say something to someone quickly.

My Beautiful Space Sharer

Michelle Letang is a beautiful, intelligent, fun person. Michelle and I went to the same middle school but didn't talk or acknowledge eachother at all. Neither of us know why, but we can't remember anything about eachother pre-high school. We met through our mutual friend, Michelle Armer, whom just recently moved to New Mexico for college. We both miss her very much, but we should be visiting Michelle in New Mexico some time this year. My beautiful space sharer, Michelle, and I get along perfectly. We go out and have fun together, share music interests, movie interests, and we help eachother through eachother's problems. I am so fortunate to have Michelle as my space sharer.